What is Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence quotient, EQ or EI for short, is defined as "the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions" in Wikipedia. Emotion is such a touchy subject in our society. We avoid talking about it because it makes us and others feel uncomfortable. We all had that feeling before we try to open up to someone, that our heart rates start to go up and palms become sweaty. According to Brené Brown, this feeling of 'uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure' is vulnerability. We don't like to be vulnerable in front of others because vulnerability is perceived as a sign of weakness. However, in her book Daring Greatly, Dr. Brown argues that 'Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.'
One way of understanding emotional intelligence is the 'mixed model'. This model sees EI as a collection of competencies and skills that can be learned and developed. There are five constructs of EI in this model. Each construct include a set of emotional competencies.
* Self-awareness – the ability to know one's
emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and goals and
recognize their impact on others while using gut feelings to guide
decisions.
* Self-regulation – involves controlling or
redirecting one's disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to
changing circumstances.
* Social skill – managing relationships to get
along with others
* Empathy – considering other people's feelings
especially when making decisions
* Motivation – being aware of what motivates them.
EQ or IQ? That is the question!
| EQ | IQ |
|---|---|
| Empathy: ability to feel | Analysis: ability to think |
| Get through life | Get through school |
| Self-Control | Patterns and Logic |
| Social Awareness | Critical Thinking |
| Self-Reflection | Concept and Design |
| Manage Relationships | Technological Expertise |
| Can be learned | Can not be taught |
IQ measures the ability to solve problems, use logic, and grasp or communicate complex ideas. EQ measures the ability to recognize emotion in yourself and others, and to use that awareness to guide your decisions. Both kinds of intelligence can influence the job performance, relationships, and overall well-being. Understanding and developing both kinds of intelligence is critical to success in life.
Why is EQ important
EQ affects every aspect of our life, from academic achievements, to workplace performance; from dealing with personal relationships to managing life-altering events. We humans simply cannot survive without emotions. So it is better to deal with it than to avoid it altogether. And the best way to deal with emotions is to cultivate mindfuless. Luckily for us, there are so many tools and apps out there to help us better understand and manage our emotions. You can check out these 5 free mindfulness apps here.